Home Sweet

So I have been home about a month and a half now, and am heartsick, I miss South Africa so much. My re-integration has gone in phases: at first I was completely overwhelmed and hid out in my friend's apartment in Boston, calling it a "flat", forgetting the Boston subway system, and freezing from the summer-to-winter switch. I reconnected with good friends, and faced the reality of joblessness in America head on. And ventured out of the flat bit by bit.

California felt good. Felt familiar. I have eaten Mexican food to my heart's content and enjoyed all my favorite drinks at all my favorite coffee shops. Yes, the materialism suffocates and the ignorance exasperates at times; As T.S. Eliot says, "We shall not cease from exploration. And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time."

Being with the Gaddini fam made me never want to leave again, and yet I still feel the relentless tugging to go back overseas. "Chronic dissatisfaction" declares Penelope Cruz in Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Perhaps I have a case of that? I've resolved to writing all the things I want to do, and all the places I want to live, on tiny slips of paper and dropping them in a box to hold them until I can get to them. That way I know they aren't going anywhere.

At any rate, I continue to explore my options, and slow myself down, remaining thankful for what I have today, and the ability to just pick up the phone and call my sister whenever I want.